Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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