I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
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