'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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