At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
