He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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