i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize