Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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