My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
