Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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