Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
