Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
