you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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