The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
