last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
