hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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