What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
