Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
