Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
