but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
