yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
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He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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