New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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