Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
