I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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