I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
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