I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
