Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
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I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
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I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize