Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
