i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
