he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
Randomize