we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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