I looked at my own cervix.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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