I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
