do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
