If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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