So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
