i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
