you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
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