And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
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