My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Oh god it's open bar.
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