im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
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