Will you blow on my dice?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
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