He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
