this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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