I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
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