You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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