Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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