This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
