Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
