I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
