No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
