I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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