a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I just had sex on a roof
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize