is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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