Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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