i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize