She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
