We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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